TO THE BARBERSHOP

A Focus on Bias and Relationships

Part 1

Welcome Back!

---

Would you agree to the saying that 'Men are loyal to only three things: their mother, their football team, and their barber'? I cant tell you that for sure, but here's what I know-- my loyalty to my barber runs deep. Once, only once, I cut my hair at a different barber and it felt like cheating.

Here's how we met.

I used to visit my cousins on weekends, and that’s when I met 'Khalid' (For this post, let's call him that). Back then, we lived in different worlds. If you’re from Kenya, you’ll know that Limuru and Ongata-Rongai arepractically different planets, separated by three counties. In one of my usual weekend visits, I needed a shave as my beard had grown out. Along the quiet street, there were two barbershops, side by side, separated by a mere 150mm-thin masonry wall. That day, I chose Khalid’s shop, unknowingly starting a two-and-a-half-year barber-client relationship.

Khalid’s shop was simple. Outside, a mirror served as a reminder of how badly we needed his services. I watched him work on someone else’s hair and liked his unhurried vibe. He took his time, cutting hair with caution and skill in exchange for 150 shillings. He seemed simple, easygoing, and relatable. His clean, simple haircut and the shop’s minimalistic yet elegant feel mirrored the values I admired. I chose him for that. Like attracts like, they say, and that was it for me. He also seemed like someone I could bargain with, which was a bonus. At that time, I needed a haircut but only had 100 shillings, and he accepted it, sealing the deal.

There’s a constant in every human relationship: they begin with a step of faith, almost like risking. We enter relationships without knowing everything about the other person but with just a little understanding of their 'framework,' which is very important. In this case, I had observed Khalid’s work and now could risk my beard and hair with him, after some try, of course. Out of the two barbershops that stood on that quiet street, I chose his, purely from his appearance and conduct. “He looks like he knows what he’s doing,” I thought, brushing aside the old warning: looks can be deceiving. Sound's familiar? 'He looks like a nice guy 'thingy'? Maybe, some other time, we can talk about Looks and his brother Deceit.

Anyway.

Khalid has been a great barber and a solid partner in this journey. His work has been more than just cutting hair. He’s helped cover the effects of sin, in a sense-- softening the damage of an uneven hairline and taming a wild beard. In his way, he’s been working to restore not just my appearance but my confidence too. He’s helped me feel good, look good --maybe even be better.

Look good?

Yeah. For too long, I underestimated the power of appearance and I'm afraid many do. I journeyed on with the idea that real beauty is what’s unseen, or as they say, 'in the mindset'.

Was I wrong?

Yes, and No. I was wrong for not taking time to look good possibly misrepresenting God. Who would want to associate with someone who doesn't look good? (Even Ruth was instructed to look good and apply oil in the famous verse in my country, “Wash thyself therefore, and anoint thee, and put thy raiment upon thee, and get thee down to the floor: but make not thyself known unto the man, until he shall have done eating and drinking. ” Ruth 3:3.)

I was right for believing that all deserve respect and should be respected without favoritism or bias, and that relationships should be based on the quality of character as opposed to appearance alone.

In our natural fallen state, we are biased. We are naturally inclined toward all sorts of biases, and it becomes increasingly difficult not to show favoritism. Yet, we can all agree that partiality is a vice. To me, this is further evidence that we need an external force, beyond ourselves, to bring about true transformation. True strength of character lies in treating everyone equally, regardless of status, race, skin color, or geography. That is the standard we should strive for: to live by moral principles that are not swayed by external differences, but grounded in the intrinsic worth of every individual. We share a common origin-- we are all created by God. That, in essence, is the heart of true Christianity.

During my “search” years, word reached me that a certain beautiful lady I was interested in wouldn’t consider dating me simply because I always showed up… well, never dressed. Not literally, of course-- but let’s just say I wasn't putting in the effort.

There was another time I managed to attend a governor’s event, uninvited, on a Thursday afternoon at a luxurious hotel in Nairobi’s CBD. Dressed sharply in my famous blue suit, I effortlessly blended in and even got to enjoy the vegan-friendly buffet at this exclusive, invite-only luncheon. No one questioned me, not even for a meal card. I looked like someone personally invited by the governor himself. Who would’ve thought that dressing the part could not only open unexpected doors but also give you food?

Looking good isn’t a crime, and it’s certainly not a sin. Well, maybe it can be, if done with wrongly (there’s definitely a grey area). But let’s be real-- even God delights in beauty. This idea that God is only tied to poverty, dullness, or suffering is completely misguided. I’ve lived joyfully as a basketball-loving and playing, plant-based, music-filled, adventurous, sober Christian. Life with God doesn’t mean giving up vibrance, it means finding TRUE joy in it. You too can change your life.

Knowledge is only beneficial when acted upon. Every day, whether selling an idea, a product, or a service-- no matter how knowledgeable, skilled, or experienced you are, how you present yourself matters. We must package ourselves in ways that minimizes bias and prejudice because, whether we like it or not, bias will always exist. (In this fallen world). People will judge us based on their biases and impressions, sometimes to their own detriment, and sometimes, unfortunately, to ours.

I've been to spaces with colleagues and friends, brilliant individuals with dreadlocks and unique hairstyles and I've been favored because of my clean simple haircut which seemingly gives off the impression of discipline. It's unfair and it's a painful truth: many highly competent people have missed opportunities because of how they show up.

Christian workers could be more effective by realizing this beautiful concept; ensuring nothing in you sets ground for dismissal. (Like Apostle Paul's method of being like them for the sake of the gospel)

This is even more real in the business landscape. No one knows the many contracts I failed to seal because of my long beards that portrayed me as unkempt. Or the watch I didn't wear. Can you imagine a broke young man with long beards. I had to cut my beard short depending on the client I'm would be meeting just for the business deal.

Consider: "And thou shalt make holy garments for Aaron thy brother for glory and for beauty. ” Exodus 28:2 KJV

Now, before you fold your laptop or close this tab, there is something very important to note: there exists a thin line when it comes to presentation. We certainly can't dress like our mothers because a lot has changed. For instance, SDG 12 talks about production and reduction of waste, which includes wearing of rightly fit clothes to reduce material waste from large unnecessary fabric flaps. However, the principle of dress remains the same-- we can borrow the principle.

With postmodernism, looking good has wrongly drifted from 'a means to the end' but 'the end'. Nowadays when someone looks at us, they see us. We want to be seen, in fact, we must be seen; 'whether you kithni, or ndekni' and sadly, even the chosen are caught in between. Many believers struggle to find the balance between fashion and Godliness. Our churches are slowly becoming Fashion pageants in disguise. What then is ideal in this modern era, when men are walking around shirtless with gym muscles and ladies in braletts and veeeeery tight pants. It's funny though, how Adam and Eve ran to hide when they realised they were naked. Nowadays people run to the streets with their nakedness, even when they aren't from Homabay.

The Bible says in 1st John 2:15-17:

“15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever.”

In efforts to avoid conforming to the world and being Holy, even as our Heavenly Father is Holy, some believers end up misrepresenting God. Similarly, in trying to look good and fight bias, we may lean toward the wrong fashion choices and still misrepresent God.

As a royal priesthood, called to be different and according to His purpose, and as the light of the world Jesus Christ, God wants to set us as an example. Jesus, the True Light, wants to shine His light through us and this is only possible when we are born of the Spirit, and Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit lives in us. This way we return to the order that once existed; to glorify God in everything we do.

1st st Corinthians 10:31 says,

“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the GLORY OF GOD. ” Emphasis supplied.

Jesus Christ lived to glorify God.

Isn’t that what the angel in Revelation 14:7 says? “Fear God and give Him glory.”

Since the world seeks to glorify self, it's fashion standard, therefore, cannot be our guide. We ought to follow God’s direction.

“..............know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God?...........”

James 4:4 KJV (Truncated, emphasis added)

So therefore,

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Romans 12:2 (Emphasis added)

May God, through the Holy Spirit, renew our mind, friend.

Cheers.

Watch out for Part 2.