KING GEORGE - SPOTS FOR SPOTS

Marrying and Giving in Marriage

It's time I remind you of King George.

One of the greatest Basketballers of all time is the King - Lebron James, known for beating Kareem Abdul Jabbar’s 38,387 record points in NBA all-time points. James, or King James as he is often referred, now has over 40,470 all-time NBA points pushing Abdul, now retired, to second place. James is undoubtedly phenomenal. My cousin adds to the list of Kings I know, he refers to himself as King Vance, or Vance the King. I also know King Rabbit, a.k.a. Kaka Sungura, or King Kaka (yes, all these names refer to him), who is known for his stylish rhymes and rap. He’s my cousin’s icon and, funny enough, his lookalike too. Interestingly, neither of them is actually named after their "king" titles. My cousin's real name is Olenyo, and King Rabbit’s real name is Kennedy Ombima. Makes me wonder whether certain names aren't fit to be associated with this title. I see no problem with ,'King Olenyo' or 'King Ombima'. Do you?

That aside, let me remind you of King George.

One thing about kings is their extraordinary feats. King Solomon was the wisest, King David was the bravest, King Kaka is the coolest, King James is the best -- and as for my cousin, I’m still figuring out his realm of excellence. Maybe he’s a king building his kingdom, or perhaps someone has him refer to her as Queen... But the King George I’m talking about today? He was the King of the Jungle!

George of the Jungle was a film we loved in the early 2000s. It told the story of a man raised by gorillas after his parents died in a plane crash in an jungle in Africa. The gorillas taught him their way of life, even their rather unique method of seduction and many things. He grew up to be a strong man, swinging across the jungle and often, unfortunately, crashing into trees. He learned both the language of humans and the speech of animals. He actually had conversations with them. He helped them when they were in trouble and formed alliances for the good of the rainforest, which was their home. He served them, and they served him. I’d like to think he was a vegan, because the idea of him eating his friends just doesn't sit right.

As with most films, there was a love story, with a beautiful twist. Ever heard the phrase, “Feelings run the world”? Or, “If they won’t hear, make them feel”? Yes? The film industry knows this well, capitalizing on emotions to pull in billions. Could the surge in mental illness today be linked to sponsors behind the media promoting certain unnatural ideologies through movies and music? Perhaps. We now have skewed perceptions of sex, for example, thinking it’s okay to have one-night stands because we saw it on our favorite show. Love islands and other reality shows are shaping our ideas of dating. Many now view sex as a performance, and dating as a guaranteed access to sex rather than meaningful uplifting relationships...and an opportunity to glorify God -- every opportunity is. One unmarried person, in all noticeable sincerity, once told me, “I really thank God I’ve only slept with one girl this whole year.” Hmmmmmh? Do we all know that outside God’s confines there is danger and that sin thrills then Kills. But maybe we’ll discuss this some other day.

As I was saying, George had his love story with Ursula. She was beautiful, definitely my type.

Ursula, engaged to Lyle, had come to Africa to see the animals in a company of lyle and other tourists. Her crew members, however, had other motives. Other than watching the birds, they had purposed to cage some animals and take them back for some quick money! So they had bribed corrupt rangers to help. The story of George and Ursula begins when George rescues her from a fierce lion (who happens to be his friend) in a plot to scare away the very determined poachers. Ursula faints, George takes her to his treehouse, and boom—love at first sight. Or should I say, site? And after much drama, in a number of days, Ursula falls in Love and leaves her wealthy, irksome fiancé for George, the jungle man.

I was interested in Ursula’s mother’s interesting perspective. In an attempt to save Lyle's engagement to her daughter, she told George these words, “Spots for spots, stripes for stripes. Well, Ursula is a stripe, and you’re a spot, one I intend to remove as soon as possible.” Words that cut too deep into George’s heart that he had to leave San Fransisco silently without bidding goodbye the Love of his life.

This made me think of a conversation I once had with a friend. When I asked him why he couldn’t consider getting back with his still ex-girlfriend, he shrugged and said, “Wee unajua mama ya xxx? Haezi kubali xxx aoleke na mtu kama mmi” to mean, “Don’t you know xxx mother? She would never let xxx marry someone like me.” His tone echoed Ursula’s mother’s words: spots for spots and with those words, I could say nothing.

What does “spots for spots” mean? In the jungle, it would mean the leopard is matched with the leopard and the zebra is for the zebra. It is a fact that a zebra and a lion can neither mate nor match, a zebra and a donkey can mate but they’re not a match and that a zebra and a zebra can both mate and match. These are differences at the species level. Only similar species can successfully mate and reproduce viable offsprings. Spots for spots, as Ursula’s mother put it, wasn’t about race or skin color or tribe -- it was about a difference in status since we all are one species, whether black or white. Ursula's mother had loved Lyle. He was wealthy and came from a respectable family and she could not imagine her grandchild being raised in a jungle in Africa by a man who didn’t wear suits.

This is a reality of today’s world. You’ve probably heard it said: doctors should marry doctors; lawyers should marry lawyers and all sorts of fragmentations. In an age where people are marrying and giving in marriage, what principles should guide us? In a time of shifting cultures, what remains constant, and what needs to go?

If you’re asking yourself these questions, here are my two cents:

Many people today have bought into the “spots for spots” narrative. Since we agree that the spots-for-spots idea refers to variance in status like for a Doctor and Farmer. Many are marrying and are getting married to the status and title's of people rather than to the person. They pay less attention to the quality of his/her character. The popular saying in my country, as sung by Sauti Sol, goes, “Heri ulie kwenye Range Rover.” The translation? ‘You’d better cry while in a Range Rover, which is considered a luxurious car. In other words to say, I'll go after wealth even when I'll be unhappy. With the materialism and superficiality prevalent today, it’s time we reminded the world that sustainable relationships are built on the quality of people, and not on mere titles. No wonder we spend so much time chasing after titles just to be accepted, while neglecting self-improvement and character growth. I have no problem with doctors marrying doctors, but this should not be the anchor for our friendships, especially in choice of a life partner. You can find a good friend and companion in a Farmer, isn’t that right Doctor’s?

I may not have all the experience, but I know where true wisdom lies. It is in the ancient words, from the good Book -- the Bible. In it, God placed wonderful principles of life. Time is filled with transitions and changes all the time but the principles of life as revealed in the Bible are timeless. Now is the time to read the bible even more. The Bible, which is God’s word, is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. In it lies the power to make one wise.

Again, as we pursue this noble cause of marriage relations, we must seek counsel. One of my favorite quotes, a chinese proverb, states, "to know the road ahead, ask those returning." Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 3:7 also says, ‘be not wise in thine own eyes, fear the lord and depart from evil.’ We can never despise the wisdom of those who’ve gone before us, and we should not despise counsel from those with us. It is a rule of life that Iron sharpens iron. It was the discovery of the likes of Mendel that paved way to modern genomic science from which we have built a lot of amazing technology. It is the concepts and equations of those who lived before us that have brought to us electricity, roads and bridges, computers and many more. It is therefore dangerous to think you are an island.

Lastly, many today, are desperate for acceptance. This desire leads them into actions they later regret. They find themselves living the life of their friends and others. Tell you what? Your greatest Job and life’s purpose is to fear God and keep His commandments. You’ve got to learn to stand alone and firm to the truth and to your purpose as a needle is to the poll. Learn to obey God other than man and learn to please God always regardless of whether you are accepted or not. Everyone ought to dare to stand alone and you've got to own this purpose -- to honor God and not man. You must learn to stand firm for God's truth. You will only be answerable to God in the judgement day so, stand by His truth -- it’s the whole duty of man.

Marriage advice is thrown at us from all angles. But only the originator of marriage -- God, truly understands its depth. Seek His guidance, not the misguided opinions of others.

In the end, Ursula, married a King; King George, of the Jungle, and this gave her fulfillment and Joy. Her mother accepted George later on. As the writers narrated, they lived happily ever after.

The Choice of a companion will not only affect our usefulness here on earth but also our usefulness in the world to come. Therefore, if you are considering this ride, let God be the chauffeur.

Watch out for Part 2.